How to Let God Handle Your Emotions

It was a week of “Life Interrupted.” I had my regular responsibilities. My eyes were bothering me. I was working on what I might share at an upcoming conference. My husband took an unexpected trip to Colorado to be with his sister and her husband who was dying. My husband and I chose to spend extra time with our grandson who was leaving for mission work in Thailand for two years. My headlights on the car went out. Did I tell you I was working on what I might share at an upcoming conference? I had to work in an eye appointment to see what was wrong with my eyes. A friend returned from MD Anderson with the news they could do nothing for her cancer. I chose to spend time with her. I continued working on what I might share at the conference. My brother-in-law died. 

Life interruptions can give us anxiety. Wow! What a week. I was overwhelmed with anxiety. My plans were out of my control. I was anxious and fearful.

So, when anxiety, fear, jealousy, bitterness, and other out-of-control destructive emotions rule our thoughts, what should we do?

“Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.” (Psalm 144:1-2, NIV)

My personality is such that I love to be in control of every situation and everybody. I like to be liked. I am a people pleaser. I like to be correct. I like to be right. Moreover, I tend to stuff my feelings inside and not express them outwardly. As you can imagine, these personality traits hinder my growth as a Christian woman.

God is the One who is in control. Scriptures tell us we are to please God and not man, and nobody is right all the time.

“I know, Lord, that a person’s way of life is not his own; no one who walks determines his own steps.” (Jeremiah10:23, CSV)

“Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control.” (Hebrews 2:8, ESV).

“But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.” (1 Thessalonians 2:4, ESV)

These destructive personality traits—wanting to be in control—wanting people to like me—can control my thought life and my prayer life. In the past, I stuffed my feelings, and I often expressed my feelings in angry outbursts. These outbursts of anger were ways I handled my destructive emotions. My family of course was the main target.

I also found I could not pray for others much less myself. My destructive emotions would hinder and control my prayers.

Some 40 years ago, I listened as God started teaching me how to let Him handle my destructive emotions. It has made a difference not only in how I react to others but how I pray.

The author Susan Lenzkes has said, “My most unselfish act may be to pray for myself first” (A Silver Pen for Cloudy Days). God used this insight, to pray for myself first, to teach me how important it is to pray for myself.

The primary purpose of prayer is . . .

• To build an intimate relationship with God.

• To get to know God.      

• To discover how God wants to change us to become more like His son Jesus.

• To discover how God wants us to intercede for others.

Sometimes as we pray God confronts us. Such as these words in Isaiah: 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways.” This is the Lord’s declaration. “For as heaven is higher than earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9, CSB)

Still today when my emotions are out of control, my prayer life can be blocked. My emotions can take control of my thought life. When that happens, I do not know how to pray for myself or others.

Why do I not know how to pray?

• I know how I want God to change my circumstances.

• I know how I want God to change other’s lives or circumstances.

• I know all the answers to problems they are facing.

As I learned to pray for myself first and let Scripture guide my thoughts, then I could let God’s Word guide my thoughts. His Word would show me how I needed to change, what I needed to confess, and how I needed to look at the situation from God’s perspective not my own. When I focused on God’s Word—the truth that God is in control, that He knows the solutions to others’ lives—God could lead me to know how to pray for others.

Nancy DeMoss said this in Lies Women Believe: “The problem is not that we have emotions. The challenge is to let the Spirit of God sanctify us in the realm of our emotions so they can be expressed in godly ways.” 

• Emotions positive and negative can rule our lives.

• Godly women recognize when destructive emotions reign.

• They quickly run to God and ask for help.

I am so grateful the Lord God Almighty, King of kings, and Lord of lords is in control, and He wants me to go to Him for help when my emotions are out of control.

“His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3, CSB)

I am an emotional woman:

• I am a people pleaser.

• I swallow my feelings and let destructive emotions fester.

• I have the tendency to take responsibility for everything.

• I want to be in control.

• I am an emotional time bomb coupled with hormones.

I love my flower garden in the spring and early summer with its profusion of blooms. If I have not spent time regularly weeding in early May and June, the weeds take away from the beauty of the flowers in July. In the dry spells of summer, weeds take over.

It is the same with our emotions. We must ask God to weed out destructive emotions daily. What are some destructive emotions God will weed out? Anxiety, fear, jealousy, bitterness, anger, and pride are just a few.

Philippians 4:6-7 has guided me as I struggle with my destructive emotions.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7, NIV)

This truth in Paul’s letter gave me a process to guide me as I let God handle my destructive emotions. God’s Word gives us guidelines when our emotions are out of control. This passage of Scripture is the pattern I use to let God have control—not my destructive emotions.

“By prayer and petition . . . present your requests to God.” – The command is clear. When we are anxious (or experiencing any other destructive emotion), we are to go to God in prayer and tell God what we want. We are to give him our requests. We are not to go to our friend, our husband, our mother, or sister, or brother, or anyone else first. We are to go to God in prayer.

“In every situation.” – When we pray, when we talk to God, we are to tell him every thought, desire, every situation, every question. We are to tell God everything.

"Do not be anxious about anything.” – When my emotions are out of control, I search for a Scripture to see what God’s standard is concerning my emotions. The words, "Do not be anxious about anything” are God’s standard to live by. We are to find a Bible verse to obey.

“With thanksgiving” – Personally, this is a challenging command. Be thankful? Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, “Give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, CSB) When we thank God, we are agreeing that God is in control. We are to thank God.

“The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – The last, but very important, step to take is to believe God will do what he says he will do. We are to believe God will answer.

That week of “Life Interrupted” brought out many of my destructive emotions. But God led me to this process to guide me.

Go to God in prayer. 

Tell God everything.

 Find a Bible verse to obey. 

Thank God. 

Believe God will answer.

Yes, when destructive emotions dominate our thoughts and our actions, God gives us everything we need when we let Him handle our emotions. “His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness.” (2 Peter 1:3a, CSB)